How many more times is this going to happen…?
Last week, 15-year old Billy Lucas took his life after years of torment because he was gay. Another young life ended way before his time because of hatred and discrimination…because he was different.
According to local news sources, Billy was:
*Jeered at for years by classmates at his southern Indiana High School
*On the day he hung himself in his family’s barn, students told Billy he should kill himself
*Billy was told he didn’t deserve to live
*Was not only taunted but threatened with violence
Adolescence is already an awkward and typically difficult stage of development. Add to that the societal stigmas of being an LGBT teen, particularly in less progressive areas. For people to be marginalized for any reason is simply WRONG. While we have seen progress in the area of diversity and multiculturalism, we have still have so far to travel in accepting people for who they are. Race, religion, economic status…and obviously, sexual orientation.
Still I find it difficult to understand that Christian organizations would impede efforts to end discrimination through anti-bullying reform, especially at the high school level. The ubiquitous yet clandestine “Gay Agenda” is given as the reason for opposition to such legislation. This really is a subject for another time but my response is simply…who doesn’t have an agenda? Christians, does any of this sound familiar? School prayer, Creationism, Nativity Scenes, lest we forget the ever popular chant “Let’s Take America Back for God!”
That debate will rage on regardless of my skepticism. But who can argue with the need for ending HATE and creating resources for teens who feel threatened and living in a private hell simply for being “different.” The very laws that require them to be in school should also protect them while they are there. The statistics express the need…
*97 % of LGBT students in high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from their peers
*53% of LGBT students report homophobic comments by school faculty/staff
*80% of prospective teachers negative attitudes toward LGBT people
*2/3 of guidance counselors harbor negative feelings toward LGBT people
*30% of gay and bisexual adolescent males attempt suicide at least once
*LGBT teens 4x more likely to commit suicide, 30% of teen suicides are directly related to sexual identity
While there are resources, there needs to be MORE. The Trevor Project Helpline number is 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386) and is ready with trained counselors 24/7. I would like to say that there are more Christian resources available for those wrestling in areas of faith. I would myself like to be a more of a public resource. We’re not there yet, as even the Body of Christ still wrestles with the concept of unconditional love, marginalizing people, and scorning those who wouldn’t be eligible for a Norman Rockwell painting.
To Billy’s family and friends, I’m sorry for your loss, grief and sorrow. I pray the Lord’s grace upon in your lives as you face the coming weeks and months.
To Billy, I’m sorry that we as the Church have failed you in not being an instrument of hope, peace, and love.
To the other Billy’s out there…don’t lose hope and don’t rob yourself of God’s greatest gift to you. You have so much to live for and so many dreams to experience.
RIP in Billy
When you say you would like to be more of a public resource… hmm. I want you to consider the possibility that’s not where you’re at right now. I would not recommend someone dealing with sexuality or gender issues to talk to a Christian who does not express sureness and clarity in their opinions on these issues. This doesn’t make you a bad person, it just means maybe you’re not the best one to be ministering to these people.
I’ve been following this blog since it started, and I still don’t know whether you’re a closet progressive afraid of losing status in your community by making a clear pro-LGBT statement, or a Biblical literalist just trying to find a “nice” way to tell someone you think they should never have a fulfilling romantic life. Maybe even both are true! Whichever it is, would it make sense to send someone like Billy to you as a primary resource?
Of course I don’t even know you except through your brief entries in this blog. So let me issue you this blog-specific challenge: it is nice that you are capable of feeling pity to dead children, but by only presenting LGBT individuals as victims of bullying, murder, and suicide you are probably not providing much hope for them. I want you to post at least 2 positive role models for LGBT people for every dead one from now on. They should be specific individuals, not groups or generalities. In this way maybe you can be more than just another hand-wringing Christian.
Hey Kevin. Thank you for your comments. I’m just glad that someone is actually reading my blog. You’re correct in saying that you don’t know me. If you did you wouldn’t have said some of the things you did. Others are valid and I accept that. Building a bridge is somewhat difficult and delicate. And that’s essentially what we’ve tried to do for the past 4 years in working with the LGBT Community here, primarily at the U of I among college students. To open up honest dialogue and foster mutual respect. No, we’re not going to agree on everything. We understand that. Yet we have built so many amazing friendships and for that I’m grateful.
I’m pretty open about my progressive thoughts but there is a trend among younger evangelicals in that direction anyway so I’m not concerned about my “status.” And no doubt, I do tend to be a literalist in my interpretation of Scriptures. I’ve already been told that makes me illiterate. Oh well.
You are correct pointing out the copious amounts of references to victims of homophobia. Part of the reason for that was their proximity to the Day of Silence but also topics of discussion in our Rainbow Coffeehouse. The other is that I do tend to be cynical and negative and that is a fault I try to work on. But they are also a demonstration to fellow evangelicals of the dangers of marginalizing people and refusing to hear their experiences. It wasn’t out of pity. It was rather a challenge to my camp to see the results of hatred and narrow-mindedness.
And yes, I understand that I am not the best resource. I never claimed to be and never will. My goal is to direct young adults who come to me back to Christ or at least introduce them to Him. That is the case with anyone I work with. And I am grateful for the partnership I have with the UI LGBT Resource Center Director and many of the students. I’m thankful that we can talk seriously, exchange ideas, laugh, plan events, etc. It’s more than I had even imagined. And for the students from Christian backgrounds who have been ostracized by parents and clergy, I would like to think I’ve been a source of encouragement, or at least a friend with an open ear. Even crazier yet that they would name me Ally of the Month this past February.
But I’ll consider what you said. I’ve made a lot of mistakes since the Fall of 2006. I’m still learning. I hope we all are. Thank you again for your input and I look forward to more dialogue in the future. Take care.
I’m also a reader too, walk the mile! I look forward to keeping up with your thoughts, and I pray that more LGBT folks would find healing and a path back to faith.
I would first like to start with saying that you are doing an amazing job in this ministry. Stories like this have shown me how ignorant and blind I can be to people that are in need of Christ’s love. It is really encouraging to know that you are taking steps to try and remove that blindness in people like me.
Furthermore, I would have to say that having an available resource like you would be and is a blessing. I am fortunate enough to know you and that your heart breaks for the lost, especially with LGBT. As long as you’re lead by the Spirit, being a resource and friend to anyone in need isn’t something that should be second-guessed.
Keep up the awesome work in serving and loving others!!